Precious things drop today! You haven’t been waiting for this, but now you must have them. Introducing Wafer Thin Mints Rookie Card Starter Pack ^TM. These cards, lovingly created via a collaboration with Brothers Hermanos and the Franklyn Mint, with a 150 day limited run of 750,000 cards, will dazzle your family for generations to come. Collectables are the new gold, they’re a hedge against the meme coins that you used as a hedge against your real world stock holdings. You’ll be able to track the value of your new Wafer Thin Mints Rookie Card Starter Pack ^TM here: Now show me my money! You won’t be alone-a new investor is born every minute!

How much does this once in a lifetime investment cost? For $5 Canadian, the whole pack is yours. As an added bonus, rare late career Pat Strain cards are randomly sprinkled throughout. See what he looked like just before a hotdog and gambling addiction nearly got him traded to the Pacific Coast League’s Ogden A’s. How might you get your hands on these cards? Well, we’ll take a 5$ iTunes gift card, because that’s how internet commerce works in modern times. To make it really easy for you, you can bring it to our gig and we’ll hand deliver it to you right there.

To sweeten the deal we’ve compiled a list of our career stats for you:

Mints trading cards aren’t just for placing in an overly priced card storage system. They are also guaranteed to win this year’s bicycle parade. Yes, it’s time to finally end Karen Roger’s domination and wipe that smug trophy hoisting smile off her face. They say her father definitely decorates her bike. Just imagine durable Mints trading cards announcing your arrival: